Al Julius' commentaries were a staple of KQV News in the mid
1960's This is the first in a series provided by WT Koltek.
The Dynamic Duo, Batman and Robin Visit Our City ...
"Holy Renaissance"
Written and broadcast by Al Julius
March 21, 1966
Zwing ... Zwing ... The Daring Duo should never have left Gotham City via the Turnpike, and they should have never attempted to leave the Turnpike via the Parkway East, and the intrepid, alert and inspiring Batman turned to his faithful believing companion Robin and said: "All roads lead to Pittsburgh, and if we don't get off soon we'll be going round, Robin" ... Kapow ... Karroon ... as the indomitable Batmobile rammed through an insignificant medial barrier, "Holy traffic violation" said Robin, and the Daring Duo found themselves at the Point ... "My astute observation and 20-20 vision leads me to believe that this is the world renown Point", said Batman, "Holy Renaissance" said the exuberant Robin. ... "Onward", said Batman, "Let's see where the bright, brilliant and benevolent brains if this city reside" ... Va Room ... Swoosh ... And the Batmobile executed a neat tight u turn, "Holy traffic violation" said Robin ... fade into black ... We next find our Dynamic Duo unobtrusively walking the halls of the City Country Building. ... "Look my youthful helper", said Batman "There's the District Attorney's office manager talking to the manager of the two ice skating rinks" ... "Holy nepotism" said Robin. ... And before they had a chance to be hired by some department head who mistook them for his Uncle Batman and Cousin Robin, they made their escape to the Batmobile that was parked in a tow away zone, in front of a fire hydrant, blocking an alley, and with amazing originality Robin said: "Holy traffic viotaion" ... Screech, Scroom, as the Batmobile headed across the Fort Duquesne Bridge, and as they went over the edge, the Boy Wonder summoning all his linguistic dexterity noted: "Holy nothing", plummeting down three hundred feet our heroic hero observed: "My keen and super sensitive senses tell me that this bridge goes nowhere", and they raised the periscope of the Batmarine, "What do you penetratingly observe, my young youthful yes-boy", said Batman, and the answer was snapped back with amazing alacrity: "Holy polution" ... and then on the North Side they scrished and srooshed to a halt, Batman stroked his jutting bold square chin, nicking his finger on the sharp edges: "Something is rotten in the state of the North Side, wonedrous boy" ... "Holy Garbage" said Robin, and off they went to the Liberty Tubes, as they weaved in and out of traffic causing a few minor accidents and Robin began tom obsereve "Holy traffic vio..." when Batman interrupted: "Y' know Boy Wonder you're beginning to bug me" ... "Sorry about that chief, but Holy congestion". ... They neared the tubes, and with a display of witty wit Robin punned: "Holy hole", into the tubes they went, and a coughing choking voice on the edge of panic screamed out: "Holy smoke". ... Will the Dynamic Duo ever get out of the Liberty Tubes? And if they ever do, will they tell the rest of us how they did it? Good luck Daring Duo, our city needs more Bats and Robins who no matter wherre it is hidden, no matter where it is cunningly concealed will still courageously seek out and find truth, justice and pop art.
This ... "Holy Pregnant Pause" ... Is Al Julius