-- A laundromat is a bad place to pick up a woman because if she can't even afford a washing machine she will probably never be able to support you.
-- Never buy a portable TV set on the street from a man who is out of breath.
-- A great place to meet new women is at a sex change clinic...
-- Never trust a skinny cook!
-- Never spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents.
-- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
wingee's points to ponder:
-- Remember, half the people you know are below average.
-- Ham and Eggs: Just a day's work for a chicken but a lifetime commitment for a pig.
-- Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget please pay in advance"
-- If it's true that we are here to help others, then what the hell are the others here for?
-- Dust: Nature's protective coating for your fine furniture.
-- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
-- What comes around goes around, then you'll need penicillin.
-- You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
-- Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
-- You never see a headline "Psychic Wins Lottery".
-- Vegetarian ~ Indian word meaning "poor hunter"
wingee's favorite quotes:
-- Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. -- Will Rogers
-- I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday. -- W.C. Fields
-- You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither! -- Drew Carey
-- You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. -- Dean Martin
-- I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. -- Rita Rudner
-- Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day. -- Mickey Rooney
-- A man doesn't know what hapiness is until he's married. By then it's too late. -- Frank Sinatra
-- I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money. -- Kevin Meaney
-- To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior'. -- Rita Rudner
-- If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? -- Unknown
-- I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. -- Robert Downey Junior
-- Housekeeping is pointless. You wash the dishes, do the laundry, make the beds. Six months later you have to do it all again. -- Joan Rivers
-- Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair. -- George Burns
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My humor articles have been published in a few newspapers; they are usually social commentary.
The dozen plus original spoof/parody websites linked on this page are my hobby and diversion. I do hope you enjoy my sites as much as I enjoy creating them. Stop by here often to see what else I've thought up in my weak moments. I welcome your coments and suggestions. -- wingee
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last site update 17 Jul 2006
God bless the Internet. Thanks to e-mail, I start each morning with 10 to 20 offers of hot sex from total strangers.
--Buck Wolf, ABC News