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-- A laundromat is a bad place to pick up a woman because if she can't even afford a washing machine she will probably never be able to support you. -- Never buy a portable TV set on the street from a man who is out of breath. -- A great place to meet new women is at a sex change clinic... -- Never trust a skinny cook! -- Never spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents. -- He who laughs last thinks slowest. wingee's points to ponder: -- Remember, half the people you know are below average. -- Ham and Eggs: Just a day's work for a chicken but a lifetime commitment for a pig. -- Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget please pay in advance" -- If it's true that we are here to help others, then what the hell are the others here for? -- Dust: Nature's protective coating for your fine furniture. -- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? -- What comes around goes around, then you'll need penicillin. -- You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? -- Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? -- You never see a headline "Psychic Wins Lottery". wingee dictionary: -- Vegetarian ~ Indian word meaning "poor hunter" wingee's favorite quotes: -- Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. -- Will Rogers -- I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday. -- W.C. Fields -- You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither! -- Drew Carey -- You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. -- Dean Martin -- I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. -- Rita Rudner -- Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day. -- Mickey Rooney -- A man doesn't know what hapiness is until he's married. By then it's too late. -- Frank Sinatra -- I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money. -- Kevin Meaney -- To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior'. -- Rita Rudner -- If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? -- Unknown -- I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. -- Robert Downey Junior -- Housekeeping is pointless. You wash the dishes, do the laundry, make the beds. Six months later you have to do it all again. -- Joan Rivers -- Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair. -- George Burns |
LINKS more wingee lunacy
> email wingee send fan mail here > read fan mail here (guest book was lost) |
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My humor articles have been published in a few newspapers; they are usually social commentary. The dozen plus original spoof/parody websites linked on this page are my hobby and diversion. I do hope you enjoy my sites as much as I enjoy creating them. Stop by here often to see what else I've thought up in my weak moments. I welcome your coments and suggestions. -- wingee |
| another copyright © rejection by wingee last site update 17 Jul 2006 |
 
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God bless the Internet. Thanks to e-mail, I start each morning with 10 to 20 offers of hot sex from total strangers. --Buck Wolf, ABC News |